Under a bridge (the story of suburban oddity)

I am the author of the best-selling book "How to be a Cliche Asshole"

Balanced barefoot on a needle, heavens' just a jump away.

(Fibromyalgia, anorexia BP subtype, bipolar2)

I miss my dad.

I miss my dad.

This is a deeply personal post that I need to make to deal with the storm of emotions I’m feeling right now. This picture is my own mothers mugshot. She was once a shining star. Alcohol took her fucking brain. I hate her for fucking up my life. For hurting me. For hurting my dad. I hate you. I hate you. She texted me for the first time in three months to tell me in three words that me beloved childhood dog died today. Zoey was my companion and protector on all the nights she tried to break down my bedroom door. She licked my face when I couldn’t stop sobbing. She would growl at my mom when she tried to come at me. My selfish excuse for a mother took MY dog when my parents got divorced and she didn’t let me see her once. I can’t believe I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I’m hurting right now.

This is a deeply personal post that I need to make to deal with the storm of emotions I’m feeling right now. This picture is my own mothers mugshot. She was once a shining star. Alcohol took her fucking brain. I hate her for fucking up my life. For hurting me. For hurting my dad. I hate you. I hate you. She texted me for the first time in three months to tell me in three words that me beloved childhood dog died today. Zoey was my companion and protector on all the nights she tried to break down my bedroom door. She licked my face when I couldn’t stop sobbing. She would growl at my mom when she tried to come at me. My selfish excuse for a mother took MY dog when my parents got divorced and she didn’t let me see her once. I can’t believe I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I’m hurting right now.

Last night:

My friend had a psychotic episode and said the most evil things to me. I know she’s struggling with her own issues but I can’t shake of those awful words. “Stupid selfish bitch” “you made my life worse” “you’re lazy and pathetic” “I hate you”
I know she wasn’t in her right mind and she begged my forgiveness and I understand where she’s at mentally because I’ve been exactly where she is. She ended up hitting herself with a nightstick so hard she got a very small hematoma (brain bleed) I called 911 ad an ambulance and cops came it was so triggering and hurtful. I haven’t slept a wink and I don’t think I can. I REALLY COULD USE SOME LOVE AND AUPPORT FROM ANYONE OUT THERE WHO WOULD BE WILLING TO SEND ME A MESSAGE OR SOMETHING. 🙏😿

talisman:

White Peach-Lavender SodaMakes about 4 to 6 servings (enough to fill a recycled 1-liter soda bottle) 1 cup water, plus more to fill the bottle 3/4 cup sugar 1 1/2 tablespoons lavender flowers  1 pound very ripe white peaches 1 tablespoon lemon juice Pinch salt 1/4 teaspoon champagne yeast or baker’s yeast Need: one clean 1-liter plastic soda bottle with screw-on cap
Bring the water to a boil in a small saucepan on the stovetop or in the microwave. Remove from heat and add the sugar and lavender flowers. Stir to dissolve to sugar. Let stand for 20 minutes to infuse the sugar water with lavender.

Wash and roughly chop the peaches. It is not necessary to peel them. Strain the lavender flowers and pour the infused sugar water over the fruit. Add the lemon juice and salt, and stir to combine. Let this stand for 10 minutes to macerate the fruit.

Working in batches, puree the peaches with the sugar-water in the food processor or blender. Strain the puree into a bowl, collecting as much juice as possible without forcing any solids through the strainer. You can also strain the juice through a flour sack towel or cheesecloth to yield a cleaner soda. You should end up with 1 1/2 to 2 cups concentrated fruit syrup.
 
At this point, you could stop, refrigerate the syrup, and add it to a glass of sparkling water to taste. To naturally carbonate the soda with yeast (you intrepid brewer you!), proceed onward.

Pour the juice into a clean 1-liter plastic soda bottle using a funnel (see note). Top off the bottle with water, leaving about an inch and a half of head room. Give it a taste and add more lemon juice or sugar if desired. The extra sugar will dissolve on its own.

Add the yeast. Screw on the cap and shake the bottle to dissolve and distribute the yeast. Let the bottle sit at room temperature out of direct sunlight for 12 to 48 hours. Exact fermentation time will depend on the temperature in the room. Check the bottle periodically; when it feels rock-solid with very little give, it’s ready.
 Refrigerate overnight or for up to 2 weeks. Open very slowly over a sink to release the pressure gradually and avoid bubble-ups.

Notes: 

• Feel free to substitute white nectarines, yellow peaches, or yellow nectarines for the fruit in this recipe. I’m also feeling tempted to try plums. The color and flavor will be slightly different, but most definitely still very tasty.

• For a stronger lavender flavor, infuse the sugar water for a longer period of time. Taste periodically and strain the sugar water when it tastes good to you. Since using more lavender can quickly make foods taste soapy, this is a safer way of amping up the flavor.

• I recommend using champagne yeast over baker’s yeast whenever possible. It has a crisp and clean flavor that lets the fruit shine through, whereas baker’s yeast tends to make sodas taste yeasty. Not a terrible thing, and fine in a soda-craving pinch, but get some champagne yeast if you can. It’s sold at any homebrew supply store and online at places like Northern Brewer.

• The fruit mash left after straining makes a very good afternoon snack with yogurt.

• Sodas can also be bottled in glass or swing-top bottles, but it’s more difficult to tell when the sodas have fully carbonated. To do this safely, with every batch you bottle also fill one small plastic soda bottle to use as an indicator for when the sodas have finished carbonating. Refrigerate all of the bottles as soon as the plastic bottle is carbonated; never leave the glass bottles at room temperature once carbonated.

talisman:

White Peach-Lavender Soda
Makes about 4 to 6 servings (enough to fill a recycled 1-liter soda bottle)

1 cup water, plus more to fill the bottle
3/4 cup sugar
1 1/2 tablespoons lavender flowers
1 pound very ripe white peaches
1 tablespoon lemon juice
Pinch salt
1/4 teaspoon champagne yeast or baker’s yeast

Need: one clean 1-liter plastic soda bottle with screw-on cap

Bring the water to a boil in a small saucepan on the stovetop or in the microwave. Remove from heat and add the sugar and lavender flowers. Stir to dissolve to sugar. Let stand for 20 minutes to infuse the sugar water with lavender.
Wash and roughly chop the peaches. It is not necessary to peel them. Strain the lavender flowers and pour the infused sugar water over the fruit. Add the lemon juice and salt, and stir to combine. Let this stand for 10 minutes to macerate the fruit.
Working in batches, puree the peaches with the sugar-water in the food processor or blender. Strain the puree into a bowl, collecting as much juice as possible without forcing any solids through the strainer. You can also strain the juice through a flour sack towel or cheesecloth to yield a cleaner soda. You should end up with 1 1/2 to 2 cups concentrated fruit syrup.
 
At this point, you could stop, refrigerate the syrup, and add it to a glass of sparkling water to taste. To naturally carbonate the soda with yeast (you intrepid brewer you!), proceed onward.
Pour the juice into a clean 1-liter plastic soda bottle using a funnel (see note). Top off the bottle with water, leaving about an inch and a half of head room. Give it a taste and add more lemon juice or sugar if desired. The extra sugar will dissolve on its own.
Add the yeast. Screw on the cap and shake the bottle to dissolve and distribute the yeast. Let the bottle sit at room temperature out of direct sunlight for 12 to 48 hours. Exact fermentation time will depend on the temperature in the room. Check the bottle periodically; when it feels rock-solid with very little give, it’s ready.

Refrigerate overnight or for up to 2 weeks. Open very slowly over a sink to release the pressure gradually and avoid bubble-ups.
Notes: 
• Feel free to substitute white nectarines, yellow peaches, or yellow nectarines for the fruit in this recipe. I’m also feeling tempted to try plums. The color and flavor will be slightly different, but most definitely still very tasty.
• For a stronger lavender flavor, infuse the sugar water for a longer period of time. Taste periodically and strain the sugar water when it tastes good to you. Since using more lavender can quickly make foods taste soapy, this is a safer way of amping up the flavor.
• I recommend using champagne yeast over baker’s yeast whenever possible. It has a crisp and clean flavor that lets the fruit shine through, whereas baker’s yeast tends to make sodas taste yeasty. Not a terrible thing, and fine in a soda-craving pinch, but get some champagne yeast if you can. It’s sold at any homebrew supply store and online at places like Northern Brewer.
• The fruit mash left after straining makes a very good afternoon snack with yogurt.
• Sodas can also be bottled in glass or swing-top bottles, but it’s more difficult to tell when the sodas have fully carbonated. To do this safely, with every batch you bottle also fill one small plastic soda bottle to use as an indicator for when the sodas have finished carbonating. Refrigerate all of the bottles as soon as the plastic bottle is carbonated; never leave the glass bottles at room temperature once carbonated.

(via pinovax)